An Open Letter...To The Man Who Treated Me Like Crap

Hey guys, its Katie! I decided to start a series of posts. The series will consist of open letters to the people in my life that I haven’t spoken to in a while. These are for the words I left unsaid. Maybe the moment deserved it’s silence, or maybe I was too afraid to say whatever it was. Some will have bittersweet moments, but some will consist of the moments in life that shapes us into the person we are. I found in writing some of these that I found closure in relationships from my past that I haven’t been able to truly find in years. If your are struggling with a relationship in the past or even the present, maybe writing a letter that never reaches them might help, even if it’s just a simple letter having a “conversation”. With that said here is a letter to all the men that in some shape or form didn’t treat me the way I deserved, or maybe just wasn’t meant for me.

To the "man" who treated me like crap:

It's been years since I've seen you, face-to-face, palm-to-palm, because at some point you were the "man" I really cared for. You're degrading comments were "jokes", your emotional roller coaster was "fighting for our love”. I never knew just how terrible and toxic our relationship was until I got out, and tasted the fresh and sweet air of freedom. Being bound by you was like medieval torture. I didn't understand at such a young age what I wanted love to consist of, all I knew was I wanted to mold you into the man I dreamt you into at night, while I cried myself to sleep. 

Now I know it was probably the prepubescent teen in both of us that caused us to both want something out of each other that neither of us was willing to give, so maybe you too view me as "the worst girlfriend ever" (insert sarcastic preteen voice here, ha!), and that's okay by me, I probably was clingy and annoying, but that's because love was scary for me at the time, and I didn't understand that myself. How could I have communicated that with you, much less you communicate with me.

I hope you find a girl that loves you more than I ever dreamed of. I hope she makes better food than I did. Remember the time I burnt the food, but you ate it anyways, not forgetting to complain the ENTIRE time? I hope she pushes you to try new things and meet more people, instead of holding your hand to pull you back, scared that you'll leave. I never realized how much I held you back too. I hope she encourages you and you support her, instead of being afraid that the other will better themselves so much, that maybe they'll realize they deserve better. 

I want to thank you for teaching me what kind of love I need, and the kind of love that builds a person and enhances the beauty of someone. I want to thank you for 2am arguments that taught me to "pick and choose" my battles, because arguing over whether or not we go to dinner or a movie isn't worth the fight. I want to thank you for showing me that love is messy, and not like the movies, and that too is okay, because when the right man comes along, he'll make even a bad day feel like my version of a storybook ending. 

If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be in the healthy relationship I’m in today. So I guess, even though you weren’t the best for me, I should be thankful for you, because you taught me how to love someone. You taught me to make the most out of a situation that doesn’t go as planned. You also gave me a heart that understands that love isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have perfect moments.

Sincerely, the girl who will never forget you